Deb Crowe Schlosser Beats Cancer

Things are going as well as expected but I find myself stuck in the “back of the cave” hibernating like a baby bear, so to speak. I want my life back. I don’t want to think about all of this & what is to come. And I don’t want to say the word chemo ever again. One of the things about this, you don’t get a break from it. And I really want a break.

The back of the cave is my comfort zone: alone, mostly silent & very serene. Since I rarely leave my apartment, I feel like I’m living in the cave 24/7. It’s not bad at all – I’m definitely not complaining – I love our little apartment. Steve works his ~ 50 hours a week, so I’ve got the place to myself most of the time. And I’ve started working regularly again in small doses from my home office. Not looking in the mirror helps, too. Makes me think I can just keep living forward without having to focus on this hard stuff.

As cozy-safe as I feel in this cave, it makes me reluctant to respond/reach out to you all as I should. I just don’t want to talk about cancer. Or myself really. I just want to be entertained, educated or elevated somehow. Distracted, quite honestly. And quiet. I want to be over this already & manifesting all of the stuff I’m planning now, like travel. In the meantime, I will be lingering in my still, peaceful little cocoon for as long as I can. I very much appreciate your continued patience & understanding with my non-responding self. Much love – D (the extra-terrestrial looking Crowe)